Walk on

Our good friend Don is battling stage four esophagus cancer and losing, so obviously it has hit my wife and I hard. We have done what we can to support him and his wife as he has gone through many chemo treatments and trips to the hospital. After over two years of battling bravely, we now know that Don is not going to be one of the miraculous ones that survives cancer. I can't even believe that I am writing this, as he is such a strong man, with a will to match. I thought that this would be one of those "moments" in life where love, support, attitude, medicine and willpower would combine to prevail over a horrible disease. Apparently, I was wrong.

I started writing this post after I had completed a 13.1 mile Jimmy Fund walk to support Dana Farber and all that they do. I wanted to relay the day's events in chronological order, and attach pictures to show all of the incredible people gathering together for this cause. I wanted to say how proud I was to be contributing to a worthy cause, and how I hoped others would join in some sort of fundraising for a good cause.

Then I came across this picture of my dear friend Don:

This is a photo of him at or around the time of his initial diagnosis, all 275 pounds of him. Here, he is full of life, and loves to laugh, work, play games, and oh-my what a beautiful singing voice. I mean, one of those voices that you wonder why he isn't singing professionally kind of voices.

Here is a photo of him from March of 2010, which doesn't even begin to show you how he is now:

Don now weighs in at about half of his original weight, yes that's around 135 pounds, just awful. He still loves to laugh, when he has the energy for it. He can't work. Worst of all he can't even sing anymore. He is a mere shell of himself, literally and figuratively.

I could go into all sorts of depressing thoughts that I have had while trying to understand all of the "whys". I don't want to do that; I just want you to know that there is a man still living among us that has a huge heart and soul, and he has taught us all a lot about love and persevering through the worst adversities that anyone should have to go through. He has done this all with as many smiles as he can muster, and a will to survive, no matter the pain.

The most heartbreaking thing is that he was the most shocked person when the doctors told him just recently that there isn't anything else they can do for him and that this cancer would take him from this world. He really thought with every fiber of his being that he would beat this, that he would survive as he always has.

On September 12th, 2010, I walked for my friend, Don V. I thought about how any discomfort I could feel walking that distance paled in comparison to what he has endured. I raised almost $900.00 through the generosity of others to help fight cancer, and to improve treatment and care for patients and their families. It was a great day of giving, caring and love, and I look forward to doing more of this.

If you haven't already, I hope you can all do something similar to help others, and to make this world a better, more beautiful place to live life in. Most of all, please do what I must do; remember this blog and promise to actually live life while you're here.

Walk on sweet brother, walk on.

This blog's for you Pat!

Jeanne and I played games and had dinner at the home of Pat and Mike, two dear friends of ours last night. We had our customary wonderful time, ate some fantastic Kibbee (pronounced kibbay, a delicious Syrian dish made with ground lamb), and discussed a wide range of topics.

One brief topic was about blogs. I discussed how great Pat's most recent one (about her and Mike's trip to Ireland) was, especially the pictures of the Emerald Isle, and she discussed how she'd really like to see me blogging again. So here ya go, my fine friend:)

Pat and I met several years ago at a weekly writing class being held at the University of New Hampshire (U.N.H.) I went to see if I could further my thought of becoming a published writer, thinking that a small group's critiquing would tell me if I had what it took to do this whole writing thing. There were about ten or so people in that class, all with varying reasons to be there. Some were there like me, to see if they could start a career in writing, others came as part of their work, and still others brought nearly finished stories and novels.

Pat fit into that last category, and though she was fairly quiet during class, I was quite intimidated at first. Her work in progress was over 700 pages long! I thought to myself; why am I even in the same room as this person? She's a valedictorian, has all of those pages neatly organized in a binder, and all I have is a collection of a hundred or so dis-jointed pages of crap!

The weeks went by, and we didn't really chat that much, and I didn't think we would or could have much in common to begin a friendship. Then, one day, all of that changed, when, on the way out of class one night, she asked me that heartwarming question that will forever remain etched in my memory;

"Hey Dave, you're a hunter right? If I wanted to kill someone with a gun, how would I go about that?"

Of course, she was asking me this question as a part of her novel that required killing someone with a gun (at least that's what she told me), but the friendship was borne just the same, and we got to know each other a bit better. The person who I thought might be a little unapproachable turned out to be one of the most open-minded people I have ever known. She and Mike are both that way, and it is such a pleasure to visit with them, as no subject is out of bounds, which creates such a relaxed atmosphere.

Pat has gone on to realize her dream of becoming published a few times over now, with two thrilling novels; A Band of Roses and Fiery Roses (with a third in the trilogy on the way), as well as some short stories (one of which appears in The Mammoth Book of Irish Romance). I am so proud of her, and happy that her hard work has begun to pay off.

Most importantly, I am so glad that I decided to take that writing class those many years ago. No, I haven't become a world famous author, but I have gotten to know two amazing people that mean the world to me. Jeanne and I have shared many days of laughter, ideas, fantastic food and some great experiences with them. Thank you Pat, and thank you Mike for having us into your home and your lives, we love you both.

So there's your blog Pat, what do you t'ink?

-Dave

Making up at Christmas

My wife and I have been happily married for almost twelve years now, and we've both been able to roll with the punches pretty well, and balance each other off. Of course, like every successful relationship, there have been many learning curves and compromises along the way, and that brings me to the subject of today's post.

Make-up.

No, not that mutual-apology-followed-by-torrid-kissing-and-other-indoor-games type of make-up, I speak of the kind applied to the face by a fair amount of women and to a lesser, more disturbing degree, some men.

During our first real Christmas together (we had one before that, but it was shortly after I came to my senses and re-united with Jeanne after a three month hiatus, but that's another long story for another day), I did what most respectable mates would do, and asked my lovely fiancee what she would like for christmas. She listed a couple of things, then dropped the real bombshell on me:

"I really like to have make-up in my stocking".

"um, what?"

"You know, mascara, lipstick, foundation... make-up".

"Oh, thank god. For a minute, I thought you meant mascara, lipstick... wait a minute, what? What's going on, where am I, I feel a bit dizzy."

"C'mon, it's not that big of a deal, I just really like it."

"But, my sweet darling, why would you ever think I would know what to pick out for make-up, I'm a 31-year old bachelor. What if I pick out something horrible, and you end up looking like Jack Nicholson as The Joker from the first Batman movie?"

"You'll do just fine."

I could tell that she wanted this quite a bit, and being the giving soul that I am, I reluctantly agreed to do my best.

So, the following Saturday, after a brief spying trip to her make-up bag, off to Wal-Mart I went, because at least I could pretend to be in Wal-Mart for fishing gear or duct tape or something. I went to the 24-hour one, really early in the morning, I did NOT want a big audience.

First, I went and put a fishing pole and duct tape in my cart, then circled my cart around the area of the beauty supply aisles, noticing how many of them had make-up in them. I was in trouble. I straightend myself up, told myself that a lot of guys shopped for make-up for their significant others, especially at Christmas time, and dove right in.

Holy cow!

Maybelline, Cover Girl, Revlon, organic choices, some sort of physician's brand, teeny-bopper sections, each with rows and rows of color and texture choices, yikes! Okay, well I recognize the Maybelline brand, let's start there.

Mascara & eye-lining pencils. Very black, soft black, medium black, not black at all, fine lines, lengthening and defining, non-clumping, free mirror, oh boy!

Foundation. Let's see, is she more of an ivory, classic ivory, natural ivory, tan, blush? Ah, here we go, buff natural, that's kind of like naked, and that can't be bad.

"Excuse me sir, do you need any help?"

Crap. "uh, no, I'm all set, I'm just doing a research project on which companies do animal testing with their products. Thank you though."

She walks away, that strange look on her face. Okay, where was I?

Lipstick. Well, I could go for pink, let me pink, make me pink, pink of me, party pink, pink me up, pink wink or pinkalicious. Here we go, almost nude, another excellent choice!

Nail polish. Red is too devilish, black too depressing, blue, pink, purple, fuschia, glitter all too teeny-bopperish. Is clear a color?

Eye makeup. Okay, that one looks too bland, that one has too many colors, how about this one, four colors, none too flashy, done.

By now, I'm starting to scare myself a bit with how easily I'm making decisions about make-up. Let's see, what else did she want? What the hell is a scrunchi? There better be a video game system in my stocking, that's all I have to say!

So, Christmas morning comes, and I'm more nervous than on the night I proposed, waiting for her to recoil in horror at my choices. It struck me then that this was one of those pre-marital tests I had always heard about, her way of judging what kind of husband and father I'd be. Crap! Maybe I shouldn't have gone for all of those naked choices! To my relief, she is happy with most everthing, even the multi-colored scrunchi's! Christmas is saved!

Well, she's still married to me, and though I still hesitate before heading down the make-up aisle to start my Christmas shopping, I do feel more confident and secure in my manliness.

Oh look, the new line of Luscious Lips colors is out. I've read about that...

Pick one thing

I started this blog back during harvest season at our small produce farm, and at the time I had at least a few things to say and pictures to show. Since then, time has been smaller, and ambition smaller still at times. Now, with the holiday season in full swing, I once again feel compelled to pick up the keyboard (not literally) and say a few words.

I have noticed more and more these past few years that the attitude toward Christmas and the holidays has been not-so-good with some family and friends for various reasons. To be sure, this time of year can be very busy, and with all the various expansions of family that have been created through marriages, divorces, re-marrying, etc... it is hard to schedule all of the people you need to see or buy for and so on. The economy this year certainly doesn't help, and has dragged some of these people down even further. A select few say they just don't like the holidays at all, and can't even think of one reason to like it and celebrate. I really have a hard time with that sort of negativity, as I've always enjoyed this time of year, and the magical feeling that is in the air.

So, I ask everyone, regardless of religious beliefs, or income, or stage in life, or health situation, please look at everything in your life and find that one thing. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, and you don't have to think of a hundred reasons, just pick that one thing to be grateful for, and latch onto it. Why be miserable during the time of year that is supposed to be wondrous and magical? If you can find just one thing to be happy for and go with that, you just may find that the holiday may go a bit better for you.

Here's a list of possibilities to start you out, kind of a Farmer's Cul-de-Sac search engine for you:



1. Do you like listening to or singing holiday music?


2. Do you enjoy the sight of the first snow blanketing the countryside in white? (not all the other daily January snowstorms, or the middle-of-April-holy-crap-will-winter-ever-end type of snowstorms)


3. Has it ever made you smile when you've received a gift from someone that you didn't expect
to, knowing that this person thinks enough of you to make this profound gesture?


4. Have you ever been so excited about a gift that you got someone, knowing how much it would
make them happy when they opened it?


5. Do you look forward to eating delicious foods, some of which only come out during the
holidays, like fruitcake for instance (well, maybe not fruitcake...)?


6. Has that special holiday moment ever happened where you sit back and savor your
surroundings and the contentment just then, and lock that memory away, knowing that
sort of moment just doesn't happen too often?


7. Do you enjoy the Victoria's Secret Christmas ads? Okay, just trying to be sure you're
awake! Just for the record, I think they're okay:):)


8. Have you ever gone to a holiday gathering dreading seeing one person or other and find out that they couldn't make if for some reason? Remember how the rest of the night just flew by, and how much you enjoyed yourself?


9. Do you enjoy sledding, singing, the smell of pine trees, the color red or green, thin mints, cherry cordials, eggnogg (spiked or not), National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, snowball fights, the smile on a child's face when they see and then open their gifts, bacon (veggie or not), yankee swaps, wearing fancy clothes one time a year, The Grinch, the sight of holiday decorations on houses as you drive by, Christmas cartoons, going to church, not going to church, The Twelve Things at Christmas That Are Such a Pain to Me song, having a few days off paid from work, the word merry or happy.......



So you see? There are hundreds of examples of just one thing that could make you happy during the holiday season. Isn't it a whole lot easier to concentrate on that one good thing, instead of wasting all of your energy thinking of all those negative reasons why you don't like the holidays? Why not give it a shot, and pass this along to everybody, it just may help.

Remember, there shouldn't be all of this self-built pressure to do so much and spend so much. Let's have a simple good time, and enjoy some laughter and appreciate good health and the fact that we all made it through another year together. The season is about sharing and giving, but that giving need not be monetary in nature, as the best sort of giving rarely is. Finally, find at least one reason to be happy yourself. You'll be, well, happy you did!



Thanks for reading, and may you and yours have a truly happy holiday season!



-Dave

Blessed Honesty

As I said earlier, the little farm stand we run is based on the honor system, and for the most part, it has worked quite well. There is a secure metal box attached to one end of the trailer, with a slot at one end to accept money; people usually leave the appropriate amount for our produce, and we don't have to stay at the stand, leaving us free to do other things. There have been instances where a bunch of pumpkins have been stolen all at once, then others where people haven't quite paid what they should for what they've taken. It is difficult to understand, but such is the risk of honor.

Now, on the other side of the cornfield, there are those that offer something more than mere money for our wares, something... priceless.

The first time it happened, I thought; "well, someone is just well-wishing". Although the crucified Jesus is certainly my least favorite image of him, I figured we were blessed by someone.


When it happened again, I thought "how blessed we are, people really care about our mortal souls, and they like what we are doing here, and this is their seal of approval".

This one even had a prayer on the back!

Okay, so the third and fourth times it happened, I wondered if it was the same people leaving religious tokens, and were they leaving them in leu of money or in addition to it? Did they have a collection of this stuff, and didn't quite know what to do with it, and saw a convenient delivery slot? Maybe their message wasn't that they liked what we were doing, but felt we needed saving, as we are really bad bad people?

Then, like a sign from above, a note reassured us that all was okay.

Honesty really is a great thing, and though we try not to be like Charlie Brown being fooled by Lucy with the football over and over again, it's so important to be able to trust people. Along with love, it really is what makes the world go 'round.

So, keep spreading the love and trust around to everyone you meet, and whatever religion or ideal you believe in, may it guide you to a happy and fulfilling life.

-Dave

The Most Colorful Time of The Year

Okay, so there's something like 78 more shopping days until Christmas, so I thought, why fight it? I may as well embrace that season, even as I try to hold onto and enjoy this season, the season of color!

I'll have to ask you to sing along with this picture montage, to the tune of The Most Wonderful Time of The Year. C'mon, you know it will be fun!


It's the most colorful time of the year.

When the leaves change their hues;

And pumpkins are due;At least we have some this year;

It's the most colorful time of the year.

There'll be witches with bling features;

And wild Frankenstein creatures;

And ghosts that you don't have to fear;

There'll be kids climbing branches;

And posing on branches;

While the "girls" proudly show all their flair;

It's the most colorful time;

The most colorful time;

It's the most colorful time of the year!!!

See? In this age of multi-tasking, you can enjoy two seasons at the same time, and have fun doing it! Thanks for indulging my madness.

My thanks also to Mother Nature, my step-daughters April and Amy, my grandkids Tre and Jada, and especially my wonderful wife Jeanne for all the masterpieces you see here.

Until next time, may your rows be straight, your vines long and your harvest full.

-The Farmer-not-so-extraordinaire.

Remembering the Old Cobb

In 2007, Russell Bussiere, a longtime friend of our family, went missing while hunting in the same woods he had for as long as anyone can remember. A massive search and rescue operation was launched, including the National Guard, N.H. Fish and Game Department, and many volunteers. It was a tough search through snow and cold, and after a couple of weeks, the search was downgraded to a "recovery", instead of "rescue".

Smaller search parties journeyed out periodically, including cadaver-sniffing dogs, but to no avail. The winter of '07 & '08 brought a lot of snow to the area, further hampering efforts. Once the snow melted, small groups once again searched, hoping for closure, and after a couple of weeks, one friend of the family perservered and found Russell's body. Due to circumstances, nobody was able to determine how he died, but at least closure had been attained.

Russell loved the woods where he died, and knew them quite well. He also worked with granite for a major portion of his working life, and passed on his granite curb-setting business to his family, who still carry it on.

One of the most prevalent things I remember when I think of Russell is that he called his close friends "Cobb" a lot, and I always wondered what it meant. It's not a widespread word, and seems to be contained within the boundaries of the Suncook/Allenstown area of New Hampshire for some reason. I have done a little searching on it, and the closest I can come up with is an old Australian word "Cobber", meaning friend. I don't know if Russell ever went to Australia, but he was in the military as a young man, so it could have filtered down and around the world somehow and got shortened to "Cobb".

The reason why so many people turned out to help search for Russell is that he helped a lot of people over his lifetime. He was certainly his own man, and he could be very direct and to the point many times, but you always knew where he stood. Through the hard exterior, you always knew that he cared about people.

A few of his family members and I went to the spot where he was found, and placed this very fitting piece of Swenson Gray granite curbing to memorialize the man who called his friends Cobb. The bottle of Budweiser was left by his son Michael, as Russell did enjoy his refreshments:)

Rest easy, Cobb.