Making up at Christmas

My wife and I have been happily married for almost twelve years now, and we've both been able to roll with the punches pretty well, and balance each other off. Of course, like every successful relationship, there have been many learning curves and compromises along the way, and that brings me to the subject of today's post.

Make-up.

No, not that mutual-apology-followed-by-torrid-kissing-and-other-indoor-games type of make-up, I speak of the kind applied to the face by a fair amount of women and to a lesser, more disturbing degree, some men.

During our first real Christmas together (we had one before that, but it was shortly after I came to my senses and re-united with Jeanne after a three month hiatus, but that's another long story for another day), I did what most respectable mates would do, and asked my lovely fiancee what she would like for christmas. She listed a couple of things, then dropped the real bombshell on me:

"I really like to have make-up in my stocking".

"um, what?"

"You know, mascara, lipstick, foundation... make-up".

"Oh, thank god. For a minute, I thought you meant mascara, lipstick... wait a minute, what? What's going on, where am I, I feel a bit dizzy."

"C'mon, it's not that big of a deal, I just really like it."

"But, my sweet darling, why would you ever think I would know what to pick out for make-up, I'm a 31-year old bachelor. What if I pick out something horrible, and you end up looking like Jack Nicholson as The Joker from the first Batman movie?"

"You'll do just fine."

I could tell that she wanted this quite a bit, and being the giving soul that I am, I reluctantly agreed to do my best.

So, the following Saturday, after a brief spying trip to her make-up bag, off to Wal-Mart I went, because at least I could pretend to be in Wal-Mart for fishing gear or duct tape or something. I went to the 24-hour one, really early in the morning, I did NOT want a big audience.

First, I went and put a fishing pole and duct tape in my cart, then circled my cart around the area of the beauty supply aisles, noticing how many of them had make-up in them. I was in trouble. I straightend myself up, told myself that a lot of guys shopped for make-up for their significant others, especially at Christmas time, and dove right in.

Holy cow!

Maybelline, Cover Girl, Revlon, organic choices, some sort of physician's brand, teeny-bopper sections, each with rows and rows of color and texture choices, yikes! Okay, well I recognize the Maybelline brand, let's start there.

Mascara & eye-lining pencils. Very black, soft black, medium black, not black at all, fine lines, lengthening and defining, non-clumping, free mirror, oh boy!

Foundation. Let's see, is she more of an ivory, classic ivory, natural ivory, tan, blush? Ah, here we go, buff natural, that's kind of like naked, and that can't be bad.

"Excuse me sir, do you need any help?"

Crap. "uh, no, I'm all set, I'm just doing a research project on which companies do animal testing with their products. Thank you though."

She walks away, that strange look on her face. Okay, where was I?

Lipstick. Well, I could go for pink, let me pink, make me pink, pink of me, party pink, pink me up, pink wink or pinkalicious. Here we go, almost nude, another excellent choice!

Nail polish. Red is too devilish, black too depressing, blue, pink, purple, fuschia, glitter all too teeny-bopperish. Is clear a color?

Eye makeup. Okay, that one looks too bland, that one has too many colors, how about this one, four colors, none too flashy, done.

By now, I'm starting to scare myself a bit with how easily I'm making decisions about make-up. Let's see, what else did she want? What the hell is a scrunchi? There better be a video game system in my stocking, that's all I have to say!

So, Christmas morning comes, and I'm more nervous than on the night I proposed, waiting for her to recoil in horror at my choices. It struck me then that this was one of those pre-marital tests I had always heard about, her way of judging what kind of husband and father I'd be. Crap! Maybe I shouldn't have gone for all of those naked choices! To my relief, she is happy with most everthing, even the multi-colored scrunchi's! Christmas is saved!

Well, she's still married to me, and though I still hesitate before heading down the make-up aisle to start my Christmas shopping, I do feel more confident and secure in my manliness.

Oh look, the new line of Luscious Lips colors is out. I've read about that...

Pick one thing

I started this blog back during harvest season at our small produce farm, and at the time I had at least a few things to say and pictures to show. Since then, time has been smaller, and ambition smaller still at times. Now, with the holiday season in full swing, I once again feel compelled to pick up the keyboard (not literally) and say a few words.

I have noticed more and more these past few years that the attitude toward Christmas and the holidays has been not-so-good with some family and friends for various reasons. To be sure, this time of year can be very busy, and with all the various expansions of family that have been created through marriages, divorces, re-marrying, etc... it is hard to schedule all of the people you need to see or buy for and so on. The economy this year certainly doesn't help, and has dragged some of these people down even further. A select few say they just don't like the holidays at all, and can't even think of one reason to like it and celebrate. I really have a hard time with that sort of negativity, as I've always enjoyed this time of year, and the magical feeling that is in the air.

So, I ask everyone, regardless of religious beliefs, or income, or stage in life, or health situation, please look at everything in your life and find that one thing. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, and you don't have to think of a hundred reasons, just pick that one thing to be grateful for, and latch onto it. Why be miserable during the time of year that is supposed to be wondrous and magical? If you can find just one thing to be happy for and go with that, you just may find that the holiday may go a bit better for you.

Here's a list of possibilities to start you out, kind of a Farmer's Cul-de-Sac search engine for you:



1. Do you like listening to or singing holiday music?


2. Do you enjoy the sight of the first snow blanketing the countryside in white? (not all the other daily January snowstorms, or the middle-of-April-holy-crap-will-winter-ever-end type of snowstorms)


3. Has it ever made you smile when you've received a gift from someone that you didn't expect
to, knowing that this person thinks enough of you to make this profound gesture?


4. Have you ever been so excited about a gift that you got someone, knowing how much it would
make them happy when they opened it?


5. Do you look forward to eating delicious foods, some of which only come out during the
holidays, like fruitcake for instance (well, maybe not fruitcake...)?


6. Has that special holiday moment ever happened where you sit back and savor your
surroundings and the contentment just then, and lock that memory away, knowing that
sort of moment just doesn't happen too often?


7. Do you enjoy the Victoria's Secret Christmas ads? Okay, just trying to be sure you're
awake! Just for the record, I think they're okay:):)


8. Have you ever gone to a holiday gathering dreading seeing one person or other and find out that they couldn't make if for some reason? Remember how the rest of the night just flew by, and how much you enjoyed yourself?


9. Do you enjoy sledding, singing, the smell of pine trees, the color red or green, thin mints, cherry cordials, eggnogg (spiked or not), National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, snowball fights, the smile on a child's face when they see and then open their gifts, bacon (veggie or not), yankee swaps, wearing fancy clothes one time a year, The Grinch, the sight of holiday decorations on houses as you drive by, Christmas cartoons, going to church, not going to church, The Twelve Things at Christmas That Are Such a Pain to Me song, having a few days off paid from work, the word merry or happy.......



So you see? There are hundreds of examples of just one thing that could make you happy during the holiday season. Isn't it a whole lot easier to concentrate on that one good thing, instead of wasting all of your energy thinking of all those negative reasons why you don't like the holidays? Why not give it a shot, and pass this along to everybody, it just may help.

Remember, there shouldn't be all of this self-built pressure to do so much and spend so much. Let's have a simple good time, and enjoy some laughter and appreciate good health and the fact that we all made it through another year together. The season is about sharing and giving, but that giving need not be monetary in nature, as the best sort of giving rarely is. Finally, find at least one reason to be happy yourself. You'll be, well, happy you did!



Thanks for reading, and may you and yours have a truly happy holiday season!



-Dave